NEW DAY NEW LESSON » Children, Fears, Lesson of the Day, Life Happens » You Can’t Always Protect Your Loved Ones
You Can’t Always Protect Your Loved Ones
A simple heartbreaking sight really drove home to me how so many things are out of our control.
See that hanging off the branch on the left side?
That was what I saw as I was pulling out of my driveway. I stopped and got out of the car to have a closer look. I was saddened to see that it was indeed a birds nest. Or had been.
All I kept thinking was how that perfect cozy little birds’ nest was ravaged, most probably by a cat, and was now hanging by a thread. All empty with no sign of life. One minute there was a bird family, the next minute the unexpected happens.
And like many things do, it made me think about life and my family and my kids.
You do your best to raise your kids. You try to shelter them from some of life’s harsh realities.
And when you can’t shelter them you do your best to help them cope when they are faced with life’s difficult and heartbreaking moments.
Even when you do your best to raise them in a safe and educated manner, there will still be the unexpected. From small hurts to big mistakes to even, heaven forbid, fatal accidents.
Christine at Thinly Spread wrote just the other day about catching her daughter crossing the street without looking.
Jen at The MadHouse wrote about how her son was humiliated by the woman running the playgroup at her church.
Heather at Eggs, Cream and Honey wrote about getting the dreaded phone call from school that her son had been injured.
Molly at Life With The Campbells wrote about her few regrets about parenting over at Moms Who Need Wine.
While I was sitting here writing this post, my 18 year old came over to me in shock and started asking me if I heard about the plane accident. Did I see it on the news? I hadn’t and I had no idea what he was referring to.
Someone my sons and husband know from ball playing lost his father, 2 daughters and niece in a small airplane crash in Michigan. His 13 year old son was airlifted in critical condition with burns on half his body as well as some broken bones. The bereaved father spoke about the irony that he has two sons serving in the military here in Israel and they are fine.
I felt like I had been punched in the gut and the wind taken out of me. What terrible agony to lose so many loved ones in one blow, suddenly and at such a young age. What could anyone have done to foresee or protect their children and themselves from that? The grandfather who was piloting the plane had over 30 years of flying experience and flew three times a week. It appears there may have been a mechanical fault that occurred during takeoff.
As an ER nurse how many times have I seen fatal or near fatal accidents that no one could have planned for? One of my favorite sayings used to be “man plans and God laughs”. My thinking has evolved since then because I truly believe that our souls have a hand in planning our life challenges. That however is a discussion for another day, because now just doesn’t seem like the right time or place.
So to Deer Baby who wrote about her stifling fears regarding her children I say this: Don’t let your fears stifle you and prevent you from living your life to its fullest or from appreciating every moment you have with your loved ones. I know you too have gone through painful losses, but it’s time for you to look forward and to realize that you can’t always protect your loved ones.
And that’s okay. Because being human means feeling pain as well as joy. It is what makes us unique. From our greatest challenges come our greatest advances, our clearest understandings and if we are lucky acceptance.
We have no control. We can’t protect everyone from everything and we shouldn’t try to.
Instead we should love and believe and remember that each moment is special and unique.
Our present is our greatest present.
____
To the families of those killed in the plane crash “יהי זכרם ברוך”. May their memories be blessed.
Written by Susie
I am me and also lots of other things like a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a daughter in law, a sister in law, a friend, an oncology nurse, a blogger, a life coach in training, an avid book reader, a chauffeur, a chef, a shopper, a maid and on some days a bit overwhelmed. On this blog I share my journey of striving to see the best in everyone and everything. Strive, because I don't always manage to. Yup, I am human. I would love to have you join me in learning lessons in positivity from life.
Filed under: Children, Fears, Lesson of the Day, Life Happens · Tags: birds, Fears, nests, plane crash, protecting, tragedy
14 Responses to "You Can’t Always Protect Your Loved Ones"
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Very true and wise words, yet it is so hard not to try and protect them from everything possible. Thinking of you friend after such a terrible loss xxx
We may not be able to protect our children from everything, but my oh my, it is hard not to try to. I know that it isnt a perfect world and that it what I am preparing the minimads for, but it doesnt make it any easier. I fear this is what being a mummy is about – I am often conflicted with all the emotions I carry inside
Oh Susie, I am horrified by the extent of this family’s loss. How dreadful. You are absolutely right that we cannot protect them and can only try to ensure they have all the skills and sense to protect themselves from avoidable dangers. I am a strong believer in allowing children to make their own mistakes and learn fom them and I am pleased I saw my daughter cross without looking and get away with it because it gave us a chance to go over the rules again. My heart did stop though!
I will light a candle for that poor family.
I learned this lesson the hard way. Having a child born with a deveststing syndrome. Losing my child to this syndrome. Everything completely out of my hands. I am protective of my girls some may say to protective but I do accept that bad things happen. Though if they happen and I could have prevented it that would be to hard to live with x
Still thinking about that poor family and their loss.
I think everyone has their losses – some have lost their mothers at a young age, some their fathers, some their grandparents, some a child. Everyone has their own unique personal circumstances. I’m not sure I think that my loss led to me particularly anxious – it was what I learnt. Learned behaviour is hard to undo. But I’m working on it. Thanks for your messages yesterday.
I agree with Sara above that if something could have been prevented, then that would be extremely hard to deal with. But yes, you’re right – things happen over which we have no control and it is best to live in the moment and relish this life. It’s just doing that that’s hard!
It’s always so difficult to know what to say when tragedy happens. I am a control freak and learning that I have no control over what happens to myself and my loved ones is a lesson I’m not finished with yet. It may well be my life lesson.
There are few things that bless us more in this world than having a family, but that blessing can bring about so much fear and worry. Yes, our present is our greatest present. And I try to unwrap it every day.
What a fab post Susie. I try so hard to be less helicopter parent and let my boys soar on their own so they can be more independent and ready for the world. It’s hard though.
So sad to hear about that family’s loss.
x
Susie this a beautiful post. I am honoured to have my blog included. Hx
It is so tragic to hear of that poor family…I just cannot imagine what they are going through. x
I feel overwhelmed by the protection I want to give my children….I worry a lot and imagine all sorts and they are not even really old enough to go out alone yet…I dread to think what it will be like then.X
Wonderful, honest post. Accepting our helplessness is an essential part of being human.
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