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Just Answer, Don’t Explain

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My name is Susie and I have a problem. (Ok, many problems, just like everyone else, but right now I’m highlighting only one.)


I can’t seem to answer a question without explaining the background and the reasons for my decision as well as all the things that the little voices in my head tell me are important for the person standing across from me to know.


The other day a friend asked me a question.

“Are you going to the memorial service as well as the picnic afterwards?”


I thought I was answering.

“I wanted to go to both but I’m not feeling so great and my oldest son is also sick and I think I might have caught what he had and I just came back from a 4 hour unplanned ride because when I dropped the kids off by my husband to go to a scouts event with him, I took home his bag and the electric key to his car was in it and it’s amazing the car continued to drive but of course he needed me to bring him the key so he could get back home as well. I’m so tired.”


My friend’s reply?
“Did you notice that you still didn’t give me an answer?”


That stopped me in my tracks, for about a second, but it did make me focus.
“I’m coming to the memorial service tomorrow and I’ll play it by ear as far as the picnic.”


Please tell me that I’m not the only one suffering from can’tgiveanansweritis. It’s a horrible affliction, punctuated by long drawn out explanations that circle around endlessly. It’s driven by the need to be understood and truthfully it doesn’t really work. When someone asks you a question they want an answer.


So next time someone asks you a question, try to answer it. And if you need some understanding, or love, or attention, just ask for it… after you answer the question.


Do you actually answer questions?


*And yes, it’s been a really long time since I posted here. :-) Thanks for sticking around.

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I am me and also lots of other things like a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a daughter in law, a sister in law, a friend, an oncology nurse, a blogger, a life coach in training, an avid book reader, a chauffeur, a chef, a shopper, a maid and on some days a bit overwhelmed. On this blog I share my journey of striving to see the best in everyone and everything. Strive, because I don't always manage to. Yup, I am human. I would love to have you join me in learning lessons in positivity from life.

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One Response to "Just Answer, Don’t Explain"

  1. Simona says:

    In my case I think all that and don’t say it out loud. I used to say “yes” to everything that was asked of me (no matter how tired or overwhelmed I felt) because I felt I HAD TO. Then my health took a turn for the worse (on top of my Fibromyalgia I have some kind of auto-immune disorder, but doctors still don’t know which one) and suddenly I *really* was no longer *able* to do things that I previously volunteered for. This taught me a very valuable lesson … none of us are indispensable, and the world WILL go on without our help (or presence)! It’s still hard for me to just say “no” without adding something along the lines of “bad pain day”, but it’s progress!