This post is not usually the type I write on my blog. If my writing has to do with someone else’s feelings and emotions, I usually out of respect for them choose not to post about it on my blog unless they agree to it.
I decided to make the exception with this post because I have found that my inability to cope with someone who has a very negative frame of mind has really been troubling me.
People generally prefer to be around others who lift them up and make them feel good about themselves and about life in general. So what happens when you have an obligation to a family member? At what point is your own mental well being and sanity more important than your obligation? I don’t have the answer and I wouldn’t mind feedback.
Why are you so negative?
Why do you try to bring me down?
Maybe you are not really trying to bring me down
as much as you are trying to lift yourself up.
You are sinking and you grasp at
anything in your reach.
You are like a drowning woman trying to climb
on top of her rescuer in order to save herself,
when in essence it is both of you
who will end up going down.
You have had a hard life.
Though it could have been much worse.
You are not alone. There are people who care.
You have a child, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
You had beauty, humor, a lovely voice and amazingly creative hands.
What a waste.
Your talents squandered by self pity and self involvement.
Depression grabbed hold of you decades ago and has not loosened it’s grip since.
But you fight it not.
You just sink into despair.
You want closeness, but your words and actions push away those you wish to have closer.
You want the warmth of human touch but when an innocent child approaches,
When she come to you with unconditional love,
You get angered and push her away.
Not realizing that she is there to give you something, not to take anything away.
There are moments when I glimpse
What you once were and what you might have been.
These are moments when you let happiness in.
When you accept love, when you laugh or you smile.
When you sing and sink into the passion of the music and the moment.
You wait for your end.
Yet you are afraid of goodbyes.
A tortured soul.
A tortured life.
I wish I could be kinder to you and be less affected by your crying and moods.
I have no excess energy to avoid being pulled down.
So at times I stay away because the emotions are too great.
You have your lessons to learn and I have mine.
Perhaps we are both failing because maybe some of our lessons are intertwined.
I pray that you learn what it was you came here to learn.
I pray you find peace and forgive me for failing you.
Fast Tube by Casper
I know that everyone has to learn their lessons on their own but it is so hard to watch someone be negative over and over again and not have any interest in change. How do you deal with situations like this?
This post was inspired by the prompt of “Emotions” at The Gallery Week 17 run by Tara at Sticky Fingers.
This blog post was written for writing workshop #29 run by Josie at Sleep is for the Weak. I chose the prompt emotions.