Lets face it. Not everyone likes everyone else.
What??? You didn’t know that?? Okay, so there’s really no big secret or epiphany there.
I’m starting to think that not not having the “right chemistry” with everyone is nature’s way of keeping us sane. Just imagine how overloaded we would be if we loved every single person we met and wanted to get to know each of them better and maintain some kind of relationship with them, even on a cordial level. I think our brains would probably explode.
(and not just from that long run on sentence.)
The other day at work as I was removing an IV line from one of my patients, I found myself thinking about why I have close relationships with some of my patients and almost no relationship with others. With some of my patients I know about their families, their jobs and the things that worry them and are more difficult for them. With others, I know very little besides the bare basics.
And of course, in true good Jewish mother form, I found myself feeling guilty. That is until I slapped myself and told myself to get a grip.
(I didn’t really slap myself, it was more of a virtual slap.)
I realized that I am not an awful person for not connecting to all my patients in the same way. I realized that in the end, it all comes down to chemistry.
Sometimes, we meet a person and connect immediately. Sometimes people grow on us. Then there are people with whom we just don’t connect. Sometimes the reason is opposing views and values and sometimes the people are too needy at a time when you yourself do not have enough energy. And sometimes, there is no objective reason other than the fact that we just don’t “feel the chemistry”.
I don’t know about other people, but I have a tendency to go out of the way for people I like. Maybe chemistry is God’s way of making sure I don’t go completely overboard. Maybe it’s nature’s way to help me keep my life somewhat manageable.
This week, I learned that it’s okay to treat different people differently. We do it all the time because we have to.